~Subconscious Habits~

My mother once told me of a subconscious habit I seem to possess, one that I never knew the extent of but endured just the same. This habit was that I would participate in a particular activity - most often extracurricular - for only about three years. Her proof was credible: I danced ballet for three years before quitting, played soccer for three years or so before quitting that as well, performed in my middle school band for about three years - the list grows longer as I grow older.

These different activities were given up for different reasons, all plausible at the time; all supported by my determination to never suffer through such things again. In ballet, the long practice seasons caused boredom to initiate, and getting hit in the eye by a tall girl's stray hand flying through the air during a practice routine didn't help the issue at all. Soccer was something I hadn't been good at - the only goal from me being made during practice one day in the fall. I can still remember trying to run with my hands in the pockets of my soccer shorts one cold day in October, the coach yelling for me to stop and having red, sore fingers on the car ride home. The middle school band wasn't bad at all, for the most part. Playing clarinet, I never suffered the soreness of red fingers, a girl's hand flying through the air, or the cold air of autumn. What I did suffer, though, was the band director's scorn and frustration when, in the late half of my eighth grade school year, I no longer wished to participate in band as I used to. When I left middle school behind I also left the whim to play the clarinet behind.

Subconscious habits have followed my throughout my life; sometimes their decision coincides with fate itself, such as the fact that I'll no longer be a student in Business Technology after three and a half years, or that I'll discontinue my membership of a Business Professionals of America through the Assabet Valley chapter upon graduation - strange habits that set the course of my life, but also force me to decide just how much I want to leave or stay with these activities. Perhaps I cannot go back to ballet and soccer; my time with the clarinet may or may not have already ended. Officially, my time as a Business Technology student ends on June third, but, hopefully, BPA won't suffer such a fate.

At least, it's what I hope.