Tears, Movies and a Heartless Person

Tears because her mother claims she can be a cry baby - which sometimes she can, she guesses. Her mother has stated before that she once cried during Snow White when the girl was very little. Who knows? Perhaps she thought the fair princess had died.

There are days when I do nothing but think; just lay in my bed, stare at the ceiling, or those four pink walls, and think. Death has crossed my mind at some points - death of a close loved one has crossed my mind even more so. The idea brings me to tears - that one so strong, so caring, so loving, can be felled by old age, drink, guns, or even their own miscalculations or frailties. I also stop though. The crying, I mean. Right on cue, like in the movies.

Movies because they bring one to another world. Snow White was just the beginning - films such as the Harry Potter series, Great Expectations, and Pirates of the Caribbean pull her into a place and time that she herself wouldn't be able to survive in this frame of mind, in this condition, in this character.

There are days I have wondered what it would be like to live a wizard's life - a scar on the forehead wouldn't be so bad. And a poor upbringing couldn't shake me off; a pirate's carefree nature can be truly enticing. And perhaps I could live like that? Be scarred, poor but carefree. Is such a person possible? Is such a personality possible with a heartless person?

A heartless person because she honestly does not care about your depression, your problems, your worries. You have complained, over and over again, but you never seem to notice that she does not listen. No one listens. You've driven them past the point of caring.

Almost all of the people I have met through my almost eighteen years of living are those that I am completely indifferent to, have forgotten with the gracious gift of time, or those that I wish I could burn alive. If only for a day I could play God, and pass my own judgment upon you, show you what the cost of being so ignorant, so selfish, so pathetic really is. There are times when I, the ever-devout Atheist, pray you would suffer the smite of a bolt of lightning, and collapse right there. And it brings you tears.

~oOoOoOo~

Tears because they make me feel human.

Movies because they make me feel something more.

A heartless person because that is who I can truly be.